I find myself incarcerated within this vertiginous cycle. I sense apathy inching forward. From whom? Only I will be privileged enough to know. I don't suppose that I am addicted to these cylindrical rolls of tobacco or even close to subjugation, but I suppose there is some partiality of truth. I am reliant on it for the time being. Multi-factorial.

I should be patient, and I shall be patient. All man may withstand adversary. I am greater than all man and I will enslave these trials. I will not change for anyone but myself. I will not alter my habits for anyone but myself. I need someone who makes me want to change for myself. I need it. Desperately. I may have found it, but it may require patience. My next decision may be the greatest regret of my life, but it is ascertained to be invincible.